the bet
by Kichi
Summary: a bet placed on the Joker goes awry


TITLE: The bet

AUTHOR: Kichi

PAIRING (if applicable): n/a

RATING: M

WARNINGS: swearing, violence

NOTES: There's one artist who drew the Joker (to me) the best- he looked human even though he was still white and everything- I think he looked more menacing that way check out the pic here:http://kichisama. Two guards at Arkham asylum bet on the Joker

DISCLAIMER: all characters belong to DC comics and are used for non-profit

6:15 am

Tom and Jared sat at in the control booth surveying the screens before them with mild disinterest. Their shift had just started and they had an hour before they had to wake the inmates and take them to the mess hall for breakfast.

Jared yawned and rubbed sleep from his eyes. He was still getting used to waking up at five in the morning, he glanced at his coffee cup and saw that it was nearly empty. He didn't really want to drink any more of the bitter-tasting shit than necessary, it made him piss like a race horse and if he drank too much he began to feel ill and jittery. With a sigh he stood and shuffled over to the coffee pot to get a refill. Sure, caffeine was bad, but not nearly as bad as letting his guard down due to tiredness. It could easily mean his death here. The inmates were ravenous for such carelessness and stupidity. The would instantly take full advantage and do something horrible.

Something like inmate 0801 did to his predecessor.

He shuddered at the thought as he dumped more sugar into the black coffee. When he'd gotten promoted he been shown a picture and given all the gory details as to why exactly he was moving up in rank. It was a precautionary measure, he wasn't stupid, those images did more than any lecture ever would. He had nearly vomited at the sight.

So he drank the damn coffee. If it kept him alert he might just live to tell his grand kids about how he used to work at Arkham Asylum and had seen all of Gotham's worst up close.

"I'm bored." Tom said, leaning back in his chair. Jared fought not to wince. He didn't really like Tom all that much. The man was honest, and sometimes quite witty, but he had a mean streak a mile wide and quite a sadistic side. He liked to hurt the inmates at any given opportunity, and while Jared knew many of these criminals were savage animals and didn't really deserve much sympathy, he didn't think that beating the shit out of them for no reason was a constructive therapy session. And usually when Tom announced his boredom someone got hurt. "I have an idea..." he began slowly. Jared took a sip of his coffee and tried to appear as if he wasn't listening. "You know Eddie and Mr. J have a little grudge toward each other right?" Jared couldn't suppress a smirk at that.

"Each one thinks their smarter than the other. Should we make them take an IQ test to prove it and shut them up for good." Tom's eyebrows rose at the thought.

"A good idea, but not what I had in mind." he conceded after a moment. "I was wondering to myself earlier who would win in a fight." Jared snorted at that.

"I honestly couldn't say, they both seem kinda lanky to me. But I'm not sure... The Joker I'm sure would throw down, no problem. But Eddie.. He seems kinda like a pussy."

"Well," Tom grinned widely, "I have been here awhile and have seen my fair share. Your right about the Joker no doubt, but Eddie isn't just some little pushover. I've seen him in action, the Joker too."

"I think the Joker would win." Jared said and took another sip of his coffee, grimacing at the bitterness.

"Eh, your probably right about that.. In fact I'd say he's got like seventy to eighty percent chance."

"That's it?" Jared was aghast." The dude has about six inches in height and twenty to thirty pounds on the Riddler. That enough would give him a huge advantage if he used it right. And think about it- the Riddler is a thief, he usually gives up without much of a fight. The Joker always gets hauled back here a bloody mess! And the few times I saw Batman himself drag him back he didn't look too great either! I tell you I dread the day when I have to try and restrain him." Tom was nodding, his expression thoughtful.

"Yeah, did I ever show you this?" he unbuttoned his cuff and rolled back his sleeve showing Jared an oval scar on his forearm. Jared shook his head in negation. "Mr. J and our lovely former doctor got in a fight and Poison Ivy tried to defend little Harley. Well the Joker just about flipped his fucking wig when both the girls ganged up on him. I could hear him screaming from all the way down the hall, you should have heard the shit coming out of his mouth it was hilarious. Anyway, we took him down after he nearly choked Harley to death, I had him in a headlock and the bastard started to wriggle out of my grip which is fucking amazing to me because Josh, Gary, and Bill were cracking him left and right with their night sticks. Anyway, their beating his ass, I'm trying to hold him down, the nurses are trying to dope him up- which rarely works anyway- and he's kicking and laughing and trying to pull me off. God knows where this guy gets the strength from- he pulls my arm off just enough to slip down a bit and I tighten up again and he fucking bites a chunk out of my fucking arm!"

"Jesus Christ!" Jared gasps. Tom nods with a smirk.

"Yeah, he's a dirty fighter, man. I guess the trick would be to get the Riddler to fight back and not just run away."

"I guess." Jared sighed, unconvinced.

"You'll see, I'll do it. Fifty bucks says so." The glint in Tom's eyes dared him to back down. Against his better judgement, he nodded in agreement.

7 am

"Wake up you fucking pieces of shit!" Tom bellowed banging his nightstick against the bars of the Joker's cell. Cornelius Stirk began to wail in fury and the Joker nearly leapt out of bed in alarm and confusion as did Zsasz, and Harvey Dent.

"Bastard, I'll gut you for this!" Zsasz snarled. Jared, Josh, and Bill all followed, tazers and handcuffs ready. Four inmates, four guards. Tom always picked to Joker, especially after the biting incident. Jared had watched Tom beat the Joker until the man had vomited blood. But the scariest thing was that not once had the Joker ever pleaded with him to stop. He always tried to fight back, and always had those morbid, frightening giggles escaping his lips. Zsasz and Harvey Dent were very similar. They refused to take a beating without giving pain back in return. Then there was Cornelius Stirk. Out of the four of them this man was very much the most insane, most disfigured, and most fragile. He cowered like a dog before Tom's fury and the inmates always berated him for it afterwards. Jared often heard the man weeping.

"With what, Zsasz? You got a knife hidden up your ass?" The Joker began to giggle. "And I wouldn't be laughing if I was you, the Riddler has been telling everyone and their mother about how inept you are.. I think that was what he said.. Oh and something about you being _not funny_." Jared sighed and the Joker's eyes narrowed, but he continued to chortle none the less. "Now all you little pussies turn around and put your backs up to you cell doors, why do I have to tell you the every day, are you all retarded or something? Put your hands behind your back, wrists together and up. Do it quick or you can sit in here and forget about eating anything." There was a lot of snarls and muttering but each inmate grudgingly did as he was told and they were off to the mess hall.

They hadn't even made it out of their cell block when the Joker muttered something and Tom shoved his shoulder hard. The Joker slammed into the corridor wall two feet away and Tom grabbed his forearm before he even recovered his balance and jerked him close shaking him violently.

"Watch your fucking mouth." Jared heard Tom hiss in fury. Joker grinned malevolently, his narrow frame tensing as a peal of laughter rushed past his crimson lips. "Shut up!" Tom snarled and punched the slightly taller man in the chin. "You guys take those three, you can sit in your cell and go hungry, asshole."

"Aw, what's the matter Tommy boy? Did I hurt your little feelings?" the Joker mocked, his eyes flashing with hatred, his grin twisting to a wicked sneer.

"That would mean I give a shit what you have to say." Tom snapped as the other's disappeared out of sight.

"Finally we're alone!" The Joker sighed his smile vanishing with a sigh. "You can kick my ass all you want, but just remember this. I may be a tad forgetful at times, but I never forget the people who hurt me. And I always get revenge one way or another."

"Wow!" Tom's eyes widened as he acted affected. "I'm real scared considering that's a load of bullshit. Look at Batman-"

"Do you know how many of his little friends I hurt or killed?" Joker cut in and nearly doubled over with laughter. Tom ended the clown Prince of crime's merriment as he swept he feet from under him and sent him crashing to the floor. Joker kicked Tom in the chest as the man bore down on him and sent him sprawling. He struggled to his feet and kicked the guard in the face as hard as he could, nearly breaking his toe. "Shit!" he snarled, hopping on one foot for a moment before jumping and dropping all his weight on the guard. He grinned as he heard the air rush from the man's lungs. He rolled off of him and rolled to his side, and sat up. He scooted closer to the guard and quickly found his keys and unlocked the handcuffs.

Tom lay painfully trying to breathe, sure at least one rib was broken. And the blame rested on his shoulders.

He laughed merrily as he dashed down the hallway. Escape was imminent at this point. He had grabbed all of Tom's weapons and cuffed him to the cell door, and he hadn't spotted a single guard. Most were in the mess hall anyway, the inmates were generally foul tempered in the mornings. He unlocked door after door and anyone who saw him ran the other way. He was getting close to the low-level security wards, and the guards were easy to avoid. Especially considering no one had reported him loose yet. He saw someone up ahead and dashed into a patients room. No one was within and the window was open. He peeked out and saw that he was on the second floor. He climbed out on the ledge and as if the devil was helping him there was a thick tree branch within easy reach. He was running barefoot through the grass and into the woods surrounding Arkham in minutes.

finis


End file.
